Hospital – Well Eye Never

Caring For Mum – Part 5 – Reflections

What a year this has been. It was always going to be the case that Mum’s health would decline in some way at some point, given her age and disability, but neither she nor I had bargained on the spiral that took hold during the past 12 months, especially during the spring and summer. That’s why I started writing my carer’s journal posts – partly as a cry for help and a bit of therapy for myself early on, but mainly to raise awareness of what it’s been like for me as a carer, as it’s the sort of thing that goes unnoticed behind closed doors.

I’ve always been my mother’s carer to some extent, ever since I was old enough to help her out with things. But it’s only in this past year that it’s really felt like it, given how much more attention I’ve had to give to her, at the expense of my leisure time and wellbeing, because of the mental and physical consequences of her sight loss and all the falls she’s been having.

However, I’m pleased to say that we’ve actually ended the year in a much better position than when we started it. Things aren’t exactly the way they were before, and never will be, but given all the support we’ve received, Mum is in a much better frame of mind and we’re on a much more stable footing for the year ahead, and therefore we feel like we can get on with our lives in a similar way to how we used to.

So as a bumper post to finish the year, I want to reflect on the events of the past 12 months and bring things right up to date, and I hope you find it interesting.

Carer’s Journal – December 2025

Here’s another set of journal entries on my life as a carer, to bring things up to date before Christmas. Then I’ll do another post to cover the Christmas period, which will take us into the new year.

The month didn’t start off well in terms of my career, as my support work role is now looking untenable, despite the government claiming it wants disabled people in work. So do excuse my rant in the first journal entry!

But at home things have been a lot better, in terms of Mum’s health and medical appointments, coupled with our preparations for Christmas. I was even able to meet a friend for a festive meal, which was lovely, and look at some of the decorations in the city.

So here’s what’s been going on so far this month, which I hope you find interesting as always.

Caring For Mum – Part 4 – Breaking Point

At the beginning of August I wrote about the decline in my mother’s physical and mental health, given her struggles to adapt to her blindness and the fact she was having a lot of falls, one of which had fractured her collarbone. And that in turn was impacting my own wellbeing, as I had to devote a lot more time and energy to her needs.

We were in a bad way at the time, with no certainty as to if, how or when things would get better, so that we could get back to some sense of a normal life. Several people have said they’ve found those posts very moving, and my friends have kept in close contact to ensure that I’m ok, for which I’m very grateful.

Shortly after making that trilogy of posts, things took a further turn for the worse, as Mum fell and broke her wrist. My big fear of things spiralling even more out of control appeared to have been realised.

However, alongside the stressful and lengthy recovery process, the incident also triggered a chain of events that have resulted in Mum receiving a lot more help and support than either of us expected, to such an extent that she’s now in a much more relaxed and positive state than I’ve seen her in for ages. It’s a shame that it took an accident to be the catalyst for all that support, but so far it seems to have been a bit of a blessing in disguise.

We’re not out of the woods yet, as she is still finding some things difficult, and I’m still having to spend a lot of time looking after her. So it is still tiring and stressful sometimes, there’s still a lot of stuff we need to sort out, and there will always be the risk of further setbacks. But we are getting through the days much more easily now, and we have greater hope and optimism for the weeks and months ahead, and all being well there should be more big developments by the end of the year.

So I want to reflect on our journey in the last few months, to bring things up to date. I have been writing extensive journal posts as well, but this is a good opportunity to summarise what’s been happening, and I hope you find it interesting.

Carer’s Journal – October 2025 – Part 2

Now we’re getting somewhere. In the last couple of weeks, there have been some huge leaps forward in my mother’s situation, giving us a welcome sense of relief and optimism after such a long, hard summer. So in this latest instalment of my carer journal posts, I’m happy to share some very positive developments that, fingers crossed, bode well for the remainder of the year.

Carer’s Journal – August 2025 – Part 1

It’s time to bring things up to date in my journal posts about being a carer. Having rambled on at length about my mother’s struggles since the start of the year, including a collarbone fracture in July, there’s been another big development this month, with Mum sustaining another serious injury, resulting in almost a week spent in hospital.

There are thankfully positive signs emerging in the latter half of this month, which I’ll begin to talk about in my next update. But August so far has been our most stressful period yet this year, which isn’t ideal when we’re both meant to be celebrating our birthdays this month! So here’s what’s been going on lately.

Carer’s Journal – July 2025

Continuing with my catchup of events from earlier this year, in relation to caring for my mother, I’m now going to share my journal from July. And things took a more serious turn this month, as she had her first (and sadly not last) fractured bone as a result of a fall, which didn’t do her anxiety and poor confidence any favours at all. It was the sort of thing that I’d feared coming, hence I also tried to request a carers assessment this month. And we were able to arrange appointments for other forms of help as well that might be useful.

So again, I really appreciate you looking through these diary entries for awareness, even though it’s not an easy read. I’m just glad I’m getting all this stuff out there so people know what’s going on.

Caring For Mum – Part 1 – Physical Health

I’m an unpaid carer for my mother and lately we’ve been struggling to cope. We need help.

It sounds like I’m introducing myself at some kind of group therapy session. But then this series of posts is a form of therapy for me really, to open up about what’s been going on lately.

After all, being a carer does make you feel anonymous, as you’re leading a secret life behind closed doors, even from your own relatives and friends to some extent. And I haven’t felt the need to write about it here before, because my mother and I have had a healthy balance to our lives with no major issues.

But developments over the last few months have proven too overwhelming for us to deal with by ourselves, because Mum hasn’t adapted well to going blind for various reasons, plus she’s having falls quite regularly. So I’m having to do a lot more for her, and it upsets me to see her struggling so often. It’s been a shock to the system for both of us, because it’s a new, confusing, emotional and somewhat frightening journey that we’re being forced to embark on. We are now starting to reach out for support, which has given us reason to be hopeful. But there’s a lot of waiting involved.

So bear with me while I ramble my way through what’s been going on to bring you into the loop, because there is quite a lot. I’ve split this up into three posts that I’ll be posting over consecutive days, to focus on Mum’s physical and mental health issues in turn, followed by the impact on me as her carer and the support I’m trying to access. Then I’ll share regular updates as to how we’re getting on, alongside the other types of post I usually do.

Mum knows I’m putting this stuff online, as it’s nothing for us to be ashamed about, it’s good to raise awareness, and it might help us to find extra support. Indeed, I’m very open to any help or advice that people are able to offer as a result of reading all of this stuff, so feel free to comment here or contact me by email or social media if you wish.

But even if you can’t help or relate to what’s going on, I hope you find this interesting. If I can use this situation and my platform to help raise awareness of what it’s like being a carer, then that alone makes this worthwhile.

Journal – November-December 2010

This is a difficult set of journal entries to share, with Dad going back into hospital, as things haven’t ended well in that regard. I could just stop sharing these posts and resume when things improve again, but as this is life-changing and will clearly have a huge impact on my future, it’s important to include and acknowledge it.

I do mention various other things in these entries as well, including DVDs, TV shows, music, Christmas food, news stories, etc. But most of it is about my father, with some of the details edited out of course. So if it’s the sort of thing you’d rather not read about, then by all means skip this, and come back at a later date when things improve again. But if you do read on, I hope you find it of interest.

Journal – September-October 2010

Welcome to another set of journal entries. There’s a fair amount to mention, including socialising, a baptism, building work, and an amusing email from a friend, although there is also less cheerful news with Dad going into hospital. So I hope you find plenty of interest in here as usual.

Journal – November 2006

This is one of my longest journal updates for a while. This month has been particularly busy, because I’ve had a holiday in Bournemouth with some friends, my Dad’s had an eye operation, I ordered a new TV, and we had a complicated job to do at work. Plus there are mentions of DVDs, news stories and other bits and pieces as usual. So I hope you enjoy!

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