Mental Health – Well Eye Never

Caring For Mum – Grief Encounters

Since leaving full-time work earlier this year to focus on caring for my mother, it’s been a difficult few months for reasons we hadn’t expected. We’re doing better now, but it was a rough ride sometimes that has set us back a bit and given me pause for thought.

For one thing, I managed to pick up a foot injury, which stopped me from going out. I believe it was metatarsalgia, as it affected the ball of my foot. Thankfully it’s been slowly getting better with rest and more appropriate footwear, and I am now going out around my local area for walks and shopping again quite comfortably. I still get occasional faint twinges, reminding me to be a little bit careful, but they’re increasingly rare and disappear quickly.

In addition, while I was recovering from that, we had a series of 6 intense heatwaves to deal with here in the UK. Occasional spells of hot weather are fine and very welcome, but this was a relentless period of above average heat and stifling humidity with barely any respite between each wave. Suffice to say it did my elderly mother no favours, and thus required me to stay indoors most of the time to look after her. We both got quite fed up with it, as it felt like it was never going to end! And now it finally has, it’s taking time for Mum to get back into the full routine she had several months ago, as being unable to do much for so long has affected her confidence and independence. So it’s still limiting how much I can go out, as she doesn’t like being alone for too long.

What’s really struck me as I reflect on the summer, however, is that I’ve been on a similar rollercoaster ride to last year in terms of my mental health while caring for Mum. And as I’ve found myself making comparisons and noting the similarities, something has finally clicked in my mind. It was probably obvious to everyone else, but it’s only in hindsight that I’ve been able to see and acknowledge it by name.

I’ve been grieving. I’ve been going through the stages of grief. So I wanted to offload and structure my thoughts with a post and a video about it.

Carer & Career Updates – Easter 2026 (New Beginnings)

Happy Easter! This is a time that traditionally marks new beginnings, and for my mother and I that’s certainly true this season.

After a difficult year in which Mum’s care needs increased and my income was slashed, I’ve now left my job as a support worker to focus more on her and myself. I’ve also entered a new freelance zero-hours contract to generate a little bit of income on the side, so I’m not out of work entirely and can still gain some useful experience. But ultimately I can be much more flexible with my time now, to focus on what matters most.

So, following on from my post in January about how things were going at the start of the year, here’s a fresh update on how we’re starting a new chapter in our lives.

Carer & Career Updates – January 2026

After everything Mum and I went through last year, it’s fair to say that 2026 has had mixed beginnings for us. But ultimately there are signs of hope and potential for the 12 months ahead. So I wanted to give an update about caring for Mum and have a little rant about my work situation, so you know where we stand at the moment, before I do my Favourites post about the month soon.

Caring For Mum – Part 5 – Reflections

What a year this has been. It was always going to be the case that Mum’s health would decline in some way at some point, given her age and disability, but neither she nor I had bargained on the spiral that took hold during the past 12 months, especially during the spring and summer. That’s why I started writing my carer’s journal posts – partly as a cry for help and a bit of therapy for myself early on, but mainly to raise awareness of what it’s been like for me as a carer, as it’s the sort of thing that goes unnoticed behind closed doors.

I’ve always been my mother’s carer to some extent, ever since I was old enough to help her out with things. But it’s only in this past year that it’s really felt like it, given how much more attention I’ve had to give to her, at the expense of my leisure time and wellbeing, because of the mental and physical consequences of her sight loss and all the falls she’s been having.

However, I’m pleased to say that we’ve actually ended the year in a much better position than when we started it. Things aren’t exactly the way they were before, and never will be, but given all the support we’ve received, Mum is in a much better frame of mind and we’re on a much more stable footing for the year ahead, and therefore we feel like we can get on with our lives in a similar way to how we used to.

So as a bumper post to finish the year, I want to reflect on the events of the past 12 months and bring things right up to date, and I hope you find it interesting.

Carer’s Journal – November 2025 – Part 2

Time to bring you up to date once again with my life as a carer. And things have gone much better than expected in the latter half of this month, as neither Mum nor I have had any problems resulting from our minor bits of surgery (I had a wisdom tooth out, while she had a small skin biopsy). And Mum’s continued to have more confidence and less anxiety, in large part thanks to her wrist recovery and improved sleep cycle, to the point where I’ve been able to go out for a while by myself like I used to do. So this is quite a positive update, I’m happy to say, and I hope you find it interesting.

Carer’s Journal – November 2025 – Part 1

Welcome to the latest of my journal posts as an unpaid carer, and I’m happy to say that things are continuing to move in the right direction for my mother so far this month. I’ve taken her out in her new wheelchair a couple of times, the reablement care has come to an end so that we can get back into a proper routine, her sleep pattern has improved, and we’ve had another nice mental health appointment. I’ve explained more about all of that in my diary entries below, along with a few other bits and pieces.

In addition, I’ve also appeared on the radio during the past couple of weeks! Back in October I was interviewed by Amelia Hilton for RNIB Connect Radio about my experience of being a carer, in response to the posts I’ve been sharing about it, and it’s now been broadcast and shared online.

You can hear my interview as part of the Good Company Show from November 4, where I also pick a song that means a lot to me, or as a dedicated podcast. So I hope you find it interesting, and thank you so much to Amelia and the team for featuring my story!

I’ve had very kind comments about my caring role from other people as well recently, as you’ll see in these journal posts, which I’m humbled by and grateful for.

So let’s get on with the latest updates, and as always I hope you find it of interest.

Caring For Mum – Part 4 – Breaking Point

At the beginning of August I wrote about the decline in my mother’s physical and mental health, given her struggles to adapt to her blindness and the fact she was having a lot of falls, one of which had fractured her collarbone. And that in turn was impacting my own wellbeing, as I had to devote a lot more time and energy to her needs.

We were in a bad way at the time, with no certainty as to if, how or when things would get better, so that we could get back to some sense of a normal life. Several people have said they’ve found those posts very moving, and my friends have kept in close contact to ensure that I’m ok, for which I’m very grateful.

Shortly after making that trilogy of posts, things took a further turn for the worse, as Mum fell and broke her wrist. My big fear of things spiralling even more out of control appeared to have been realised.

However, alongside the stressful and lengthy recovery process, the incident also triggered a chain of events that have resulted in Mum receiving a lot more help and support than either of us expected, to such an extent that she’s now in a much more relaxed and positive state than I’ve seen her in for ages. It’s a shame that it took an accident to be the catalyst for all that support, but so far it seems to have been a bit of a blessing in disguise.

We’re not out of the woods yet, as she is still finding some things difficult, and I’m still having to spend a lot of time looking after her. So it is still tiring and stressful sometimes, there’s still a lot of stuff we need to sort out, and there will always be the risk of further setbacks. But we are getting through the days much more easily now, and we have greater hope and optimism for the weeks and months ahead, and all being well there should be more big developments by the end of the year.

So I want to reflect on our journey in the last few months, to bring things up to date. I have been writing extensive journal posts as well, but this is a good opportunity to summarise what’s been happening, and I hope you find it interesting.

Carer’s Journal – October 2025 – Part 1

Welcome to the next part of my carers journal, in what is set to be an important transitional month for us, as my mother is hopefully coming out of her cast in the second half of October. We’ve also had some very significant news this month that will greatly enhance her ability to get out and about again, and we’re still looking into her long-term care options as well. So there appears to be light at the end of the tunnel if everything works out. Here’s what’s been happening during the last few weeks.

Carer’s Journal – September 2025 – Part 2

Welcome to the next part of my caring journal, which I know has been getting quite a bit of attention recently, and thank you to all those who are taking the time to read it.

The second half of this month has continued to have positive developments overall, with thoughts turning to long term home care for Mum, as well as ongoing help with things like her sleep and mobility. But there have still been difficult moments as well, with Mum having occasional restless nights, sometimes due to sleep-induced confusion as to who I am or where she is, along with moments of general anxiety or panic, as has become the norm in recent months.

Generally though we’re doing ok, as we can see light at the end of the tunnel in terms of Mum’s wrist cast coming off later in October, and we’re looking forward to arranging proper care for her.

So here’s what’s been going on over the last couple of weeks, which I hope you find interesting.

Carer’s Journal – September 2025 – Part 1

Here’s the latest update on how my mother and I are doing, as part of my series of journal posts about being a carer. She’s still recovering from her broken wrist, having sleepless nights, and experiencing moments of anxiety and panic. But she’s also regaining some confidence and mobility, which has been great to see, and things are moving forward in terms of the help and support she’s getting from healthcare professionals, which is reassuring.

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