Now we’re getting somewhere. In the last couple of weeks, there have been some huge leaps forward in my mother’s situation, giving us a welcome sense of relief and optimism after such a long, hard summer. So in this latest instalment of my carer journal posts, I’m happy to share some very positive developments that, fingers crossed, bode well for the remainder of the year.
Contents
Sunday, October 26
It’s off! After 2½ months of hell for Mum, she’s finally free of the cast on her wrist, which came off on Tuesday. That came after a quiet yet anxious day on Monday, where we were both hoping that it would indeed happen.
Morning Fall
Mind you, we had a bit of a scare initially on Tuesday morning, when she fell outside by the back door. She had been trying to get back into the house after using the outside toilet, a journey she’s done a few times a day quite successfully ever since she came home with the cast on in August. But on this occasion she didn’t quite get her foot on the step properly, so stepped backwards a bit to try again, and lost her balance. Fortunately she put her back against the wall and slid down it, so ended up sitting on the floor, and apart from a minor graze on her lower back she didn’t have any other injuries, so that was a relief.
Carers
There was then a long wait for her carer to arrive to get her washed and dressed, as the agency had decided to schedule her for well after 9am, whereas often she comes soon after 7am. I know the Diwali festival has resulted in some of the carers being on holiday, which is understandable, so the remaining carers have had to fill in for those who are absent, but it still wasn’t the day we wanted Mum to get anxious by waiting.
Still, on the plus side, the lady from the reablement team rang during the morning to confirm that the reablement funding had been extended for another month. That means the carers they’re supplying will keep coming for a bit longer, and then a decision will be made on whether to extend it further, or whether they hand over the reins so we can decide on her care ourselves. That’s what the recent panel meeting she mentioned had been about – I’d confused it with the whole Direct Payments thing, and on that subject she said it was good that I had sent the financial assessment form back. But anyway, as much as we want to choose our own carers, we’re glad that they’re continuing to provide free care for the time being, which we hadn’t expected given that the usual reablement period is 6 weeks, and Mum’s already well beyond that.
Cast Removal
We then had to wait for the hospital transport to arrive. They told us to be ready 2 hours before the appointment as usual, just in case, so we did that, but we then had to wait over an hour for the transport to come. So that was more waiting that Mum didn’t like doing, but it meant I was able to get some work done in the meantime. Once the transport did arrive, however, we got to the hospital pretty quickly, arriving about 40 minutes before her appointment. And she was seen slightly earlier than the appointed time, which was good.
She was also taken from the ambulance to the waiting area in a wheelchair, the first time she’s been pushed around in one since we got the referral for her to have one of her own, and she really liked it, saying she was pleasantly surprised at how small and lightweight it was. So that’s a good sign for when she gets her own wheelchair.
The appointment itself was then very quick and easy. The doctor said no X-rays were required, so we simply had to go to another room to have the cast removed, which was done quickly yet safely using a small electric saw. The doctor then had another quick look, and was satisfied that her bones were “rock solid”. He was also pleased to hear that she takes vitamin D supplements, as they will be really helping her recovery. And she can go back to doing her normal activities straight away. Her wrist will be stiff and sore for a while, and there’s a bit of swelling around her knuckles, but that will all gradually settle down as she continues to use that arm. There’s also quite a bit of dry, flaky skin, unsurprisingly, but plenty of moisturising cream will help there. And overall her arm doesn’t look too bad really.
So that was all really good news, and Mum felt very happy and relieved to be out of the cast. It’s just a shame, therefore, that getting home was a bit of a nightmare for her. We had to wait over an hour in the reception area for the hospital transport to come and get us, and when they did, he had a couple of other people to drop off who lived a fair distance away from us. Mum had decided not to take any travel pills, as we hadn’t expected our journey home to take so long, and as such she did need a bowl to try and be sick in, although nothing came up in the end.
But we got home eventually, about 4:30pm, and were able to relax. Once Mum’s stomach had settled down again, she had a slice of madeira cake and a cup of tea, and then a bit later on she ate her dinner as well, so that was good.
Recovery
Since then, Mum has been doing well overall. Her confidence was knocked a little bit on Wednesday morning, as she naively hadn’t expected her wrist to still be sore after a good night’s sleep, despite the fact that I had been forewarning her that it would take time to get better, after reading up on it in recent weeks. She had just thought I was being over-cautious and worrying too much, but now she knows I was right and understands why. The physiotherapist also came round on Wednesday and confirmed that, and is going to see if they can recommend some specific exercises for her, though I’ve found some online that she’s already started doing.
She’s also had the confidence and determination to start doing things again, even if she’s nervous about them, which I’ve been really happy to see. So since Wednesday, the day after her cast came off, she’s been having a shower every day. She’s still a bit nervous moving around in the bathroom sometimes, hence we want to get a more accessible bathroom installed, and she finds it difficult to thoroughly wash her hair (which is very long, and I’ve booked her a haircut for next week) and to dry her back without help. But overall she’s finding it refreshing to be able to get in the shower again.
Then on Thursday she started washing up after dinner each night, with me helping her by drying everything, like we used to do, and we’ve continued to do that every day since. So that’s been really good as well.
My Appointments
As for me, I’ve finally had my referral come through for my wisdom tooth to be removed. So I was able to book an appointment for an assessment in early November, and have completed their medical history form online. The clinic I’ve been referred to is only a short walk down the road, it turns out, and the reviews online suggest it’s very good. So I’m hoping it will go well, as I am quite nervous about having it done, particularly the recovery process afterwards, as I’m anxious to avoid too much pain or anything like dry socket. But it’ll be nice if I can get this out of the way before Christmas.
I also had an email this week from a local benefits advisor who I’ve been referred to by the reablement lady, offering to do a benefits check and give advice on any benefits I might be entitled to. So I accepted her offer of a call on Friday, but she had to cancel it in the end as she was off sick, and will reschedule it when she’s back in next week. I don’t expect to be eligible for anything beyond what I currently get, but It’ll be worth a go.
Friday, October 31
Well, what an end to the month this has been! I’ve had most of the week off work, which has been good, and it’s given me quite a bit of free time to help Mum with a few things. Mind you, she’s still doing quite a bit by herself now, with light tasks like making sandwiches for lunch, doing the washing up, helping with the laundry, having showers and drying herself, etc. Her dexterity’s very gradually getting a little bit better.
Moorfields
Monday was the first big day, when I took her to our local Moorfields eye clinic. There was naturally some waiting around in between her seeing a few different people, which is always a bit tiring, but ultimately we were in and out within 2½ hours, which isn’t too bad.
The appointment was to take a closer look at a small lesion on her lower left eyelid, and while it’s not causing any discomfort, they want to do a shave biopsy to make sure it isn’t cancerous, which is fair enough. So she’s going to have that minor bit of surgery in a few weeks time. She’s not anxious about it though, because she likes the people at Moorfields, she knows they’re experts in what they do, and in the unlikely scenario it is some form of skin cancer, she knows they’ll be able to help her with it.
Finance & Phonecalls
On Tuesday, I then had a call from the local benefits adviser, and as expected there’s nothing new that I’m eligible for. However, she did give us some advice about getting Mum’s Disability Living Allowance (DLA) reassessed, which we’re going to try and sort out soon, because at the very least she should be getting a higher mobility payment now, and we can certainly provide lots of evidence to back that up. Possibly the care component could be increased too. The other option is Attendance Allowance, which would replace DLA, but only the care component, meaning she would lose the mobility payment. So it would make more sense to increase the mobility component of DLA, as she needs that too.
I also got a letter that day to say that the council’s finance team had received the financial assessment form I filled in, and because of the amount of savings we declared, we would have to pay for all of Mum’s care. Which we knew and expected, and we like the fact that we’ll have full control over her care once the reablement period ends, so that’s fine.
Wednesday was then a quieter day, but I did get a phonecall from the telecare people regarding the Carers Emergency Card I’d applied for a while back. Somehow they had a completely different first name for me, that hadn’t been mentioned on the form I filled in, but they had my Mum and Aunt’s names correct. So the lady said they’re going to amend my name and send out the card, as I explained I hadn’t heard anything back since I sent off the form. It’ll be handy to have that if it comes, just in case anything happens to me and Mum needs looking after.
Haircuts
On Thursday I then took Mum to have a long-overdue haircut. We tried walking down to the salon, which is a fair distance, but she made it. She had a minor tumble on the way there, when the step down from a kerb was deeper than she thought it was going to be, but I was able to catch her and slow down her fall, and then I got her up straight away, so she wasn’t injured. And on the way back she needed to stop a couple of times as she was tired. But that didn’t matter. She was just over the moon to have got her hair cut at long last.
I also had a trim as well, and even though it was only about 6 weeks ago when I last went, it had still grown enough for him to take a fair amount off. But those haircuts will keep us going into early next year now, so we haven’t got to worry about going again before Christmas.
Wheelchair
Today (Friday) has been the best and most important day though, because Mum’s wheelchair arrived!
I’d had a call on Monday while we were at Moorfields to choose a delivery date, and they brought it round as promised. The guy was very nice and showed me how to use it, as well as getting Mum to sit in it so he could adjust it for her comfort. He also gave me the user manual of course (though I’ve also found a digital copy online that’s much easier to read), as well as the number to ring if we have any problems or need any repairs (which are covered as part of the loan agreement).
But it’s a really nice bit of kit considering it’s just a basic model. It’s an Invacare Action 2 NG wheelchair, in a smart black colour, with 2 sets of brake levers – one pair by the wheels as usual, and lever brakes under the handlebars you push with at the back. Mum’s also been given a seatbelt for safety, and a nice cushion to sit on.
So that’s got her very excited, knowing that she’ll be able to go out and about again safely, rather than being stuck indoors. She’ll still get up and walk sometimes of course, but at least now I (or her sister or a carer) can safely transport her to nice places where she can then get up for a walk, like parks or parts of the south bank by the Thames. And then when she gets tired, she can sit down and be driven around again. We’re also hoping to get her to shops, museums, theatres, etc as time goes on, and even the seaside in the summer. But we’ll take it bit by bit at first and see how we get on. Some parts of London are more accessible than others, so I’m sure we’ll have little problems here and there, but we should be fine generally.
Positivity
Overall, therefore, because of all that, Mum is in much better spirits than she has been for a long while, which I’m really pleased and relieved to see. She still gets anxious now and again if she doesn’t know where I am or gets a bit lost. But because she hasn’t been sleeping during the day, she hasn’t been having any moments of confusion about what room she’s in, how the furniture is laid out or who I am, which has been quite refreshing. And I’ve been able to make her laugh very easily, just by being my silly self to amuse her.
All of which means we’re going into November feeling much more upbeat than we have for quite some time, with things moving in a very positive direction. There’s still lots to do, and there will be plenty more difficult moments I’m sure (like my wisdom tooth extraction for starters). But on the whole – touch wood – there’s reason to be positive and optimistic. Let’s hope November continues in that vein!
Conclusion
It’s so nice to be in a positive position at the end of the month, as it’s felt like such a long journey to get to this point. The journey’s not over by any means, given various things we still need to sort out, and there will continue to be bumps in the road and difficulties to overcome. But with Mum now out of her cast, and with a wheelchair at her disposal, on top of all the other help that she’s surprised at having received and the support we’ll be arranging in the near future, it feels like opportunities are opening up for her, to do more with her life than she’s been able to for years. I’m just keeping my fingers tightly crossed that we continue moving forward in this way.
Share this:
Well Eye Never 
I’m happy to hear that things are getting better for you guys.
LikeLike